Letting go of the need for people to act or respond in a certain way, in other words, not having expectations of other people or wanting others to be anything other than what they are, allows us to keep our hearts open all the time. This is what I have come to understand is unconditional love. I have come to the knowledge that each of us have the innate ability to be the source of love, however, we spend most of our time waiting for others to be the source…looking outside ourselves.
Unconditional love can transform fear. When a person can detach from expectations and outcomes of people, places and things, fear will dissipate and be replaced with love. We must all learn to love and honor ourselves unconditionally before we can truly love another. To do this, we must first recognize fear. Getting to know ourselves, is the beginning. Becoming aware of thinking patterns. Fear can show up in thoughts that are critical of others or ourselves. Thinking that someone has disappointed you or you have disappointed someone, or thinking that yourself or someone else is not trying hard enough, or you or someone else simply is not enough. The more you can realize and face your fears, the more you can heal with unconditional love for yourself.
Another way that we as human beings hide fear from ourselves is disguising it as logical and rational reasons why something cannot be done. Sometimes we might even believe that another person is stopping us from doing something, or we blame others for not taking responsibility. Think about the ways you might cover up fear, sometimes I just get angry and quit, or decide I just cannot do it. Fear can create separateness and pain.
When we are able to look at those parts of ourselves and face our fears, it is important to know that there is no need to apologize, cover it up or act strong or feel bad about ourselves. Just know that this is a place that is in need of your unconditional love. Facing our fears makes them manageable and heals feelings of separateness and pain.
The only way to learn unconditional love is coming up against all those areas of your heart that are closed. I have read, that we all learn to love by putting ourselves in situations that challenge us to be loving. Practicing tolerance is an attribute of unconditional love. As I sum up this blog, I challenge each of you to practice smiling inwardly when people or things upset you. Instead of reacting, send warm blessings of love. This can be an incredible freeing act that keeps you from being affected by another’s behavior, allowing people to be themselves and make their own mistakes…unconditional love. It is a great challenge to learn how to accept others for who they are, and what you give to others, you give to yourself.
Although there is much more to be said and learned about the subject of unconditional love, I will end here. I will pick this subject up again later on my journey when I feel the need to share my thoughts….