When we dwell on another person, place or thing with the thought,”‘if only things were different, then everything would be ok”, we are resisting what is. Resisting what is, is the same as saying to yourself, I want things to be the way I think they should be, or I am going to suffer endlessly until they are. Who would agree to that, or say that to themselves…for many years, I did. Of course, not in so many words. I could always make a good argument for what I believed was the right way to be. I, like many I know could outsmart myself with my articulate justifications of my judgements of lack in myself and others. I personally, have resisted most of the situations of my life. The people, places and things that came into my life, somehow, never turned out the way I thought they should be. The renowned psychologists Carl Jung once said, “what you resist, not only will persist, but will grow in size”.
Resistance to reality, is the key to unhappiness. To resist what is, creates illusions… It is that simple, and at the same time that complicated. To constantly focus on the people and or things that are not the way we think they are supposed to be, is a rejection of what is. Beware; should be, shouldn’t be, supposed to be…all ego talk. Deficiency thinking. Do you recognize it? Every human being is this way, to one degree or another at some point in their life. Acceptance is the only way to peace of mind.
Tonight, I am remembering a woman I once knew whose persistent rejection of reality, her extreme arguments against acceptance of what is lead her to an early demise. Her devotion to her illusion of lack in everything, and everyone she saw was so profound, ironically helped me. It helped me, because I could often see that what she was protesting and cursing her God about were not real. She was brilliant and articulate and fanatical in her beliefs, and in the beginning, I hung on her every word…she was singing to the choir. As the years passed I grew weary of the constant pain, chaos and turmoil of my life. My mind began to open to the idea that maybe my perceptions of reality were an illusion. Of course, those were not my words at the time, but, suffice to say, my persistent pain drove me to eventually to accept what is…
I know today that I was very fortunate that I did not have the stamina to continue on that road. Over the years I have met many others like my friend, none as constant and dark, but, steadfast in their illusion. The pain and suffering of my illusion drove many people, lovers, jobs…you get the picture, to eventually fade away. For many years I used this as proof of my illusion. Yet I could see that my friend created a very similar reality in her life. Her self-deception was my awakening and eventually I walked away from her noise to save myself. Nothing is wasted in the big picture, we all have free will and can choose to go against the flow for as long as we want. In some cases, to the death. However, to be open to life and all the infinite possibilities that living in the light has to offer is the way to peace of mind. To accept yourself, accept what is and trust that the universe is working just the way it is meant to be…that you are loved by a force bigger than you…some refer to as God…well, there is not much more I can say,