The painting associated with this blog is of a woman I once knew, it represents the essence of the spirit I remember when I think of her. I remember fondly her playful and impish spirit of her childhood. Her life, her journey, took her to the dark places of human beings. For many of us her choices in this life were not only unimaginable, they were unforgivable.
The painting is of my sister Marguerite who disappeared in 1984. For those who knew her this was not entirely a surprise, she lived on the edge always and appeared to fearlessly test all of life’s boundaries. What was a surprise was the silence. Never to be heard from or seen again. The wreckage that was left behind and the unacknowledged culpabilities would continue to have an impact for years to come. Over the years not only other siblings, but also her now adult daughter made efforts to learn of Marguerite’s outcome. Last year, my sister Eileen, following guidance from her inner voice, was able to learn of Marguerite’s tragic end in 1984, and located her remains in an unmarked grave in southern California. Since that time, Marguerite’s daughter has been able to bring her remains home to a family plot.
I will leave the rest of that story for Eileen and Nicole to tell, and circle back to the subject of this blog, love, and forgiveness.
Forgiveness has been described as no longer holding on to what someone else did to you against them. Unforgiveness is then described as holding onto the ill will you have toward the person that hurt you. Every one of us struggles with unforgiveness at different times throughout our lives. Unforgiveness is human and it is only when we learn to love ourselves that we learn to forgive others. Unforgiveness is not about what another person did to us, it is about what we are doing to our self. It can be very consuming, impacting every aspect of our lives. After all, the person who suffers most in unforgiveness is not the offender, but, the offended. Unforgiveness can stunt our emotional and spiritual growth by restricting us to our self-imposed limitations. When we learn how to forgive and love ourselves the energy expands and reverberates causing us to question our self-imposed limitations. In other words, changing our perspective.
No matter how you spin it, it always comes back to love. Everything and everyone are so connected that every thought and feeling we have creates an energy that affects us all. Every human being who begins to question or doubt their self-imposed limitations to love will find the path that leads them there. It is all free will.